Changes...

OK...for the last month or so, I became a hindrance to my own goals...I began to counteract everything positive thing I knew that would guarantee my success...Why??? Why??? I don't know sometimes, I think I want something, but then when I start going for it, I give up...

I know some people may find it hard to believe but I have a commitment problem...I know it, I freely admit it..I can come up with great, and fancy plans, and time tables...But nothing gets done... I'm seriously thinking about seeking help...

There are things I love to do, and I do them without thinking twice..Church programs, conversations with those close to me, watching select television shows...But it's those other things like cleaning my room, and cooking dinner regularly that just fall by the wayside...I realize that the plans I set have to be driven by a goal, I can see...

For example, I recently picked up a second job, so that I really start saving to purchase my first home...While I don't really want to work another job, the goal of saving is sooo much bigger than ANYTHING I've ever envisioned, that if I don't succeed I will disappoint myself...AND that just can't happen... Another reason, and it may soundly purely vain, but know I can lose weight and afford to purchase new clothes...a 40% off discount will go along way when you plan to drop as much weight as I do!!!

SO know to my weight issue, I have been putting off exercising because it's hot, or whatever the excuse maybe...But on June 30Th, in less than 6 weeks, I have to purchase my first bridesmaid dress. I refuse to look uncomfortable or stuffed in a dress, especially in a wedding for two people I care a lot for...On Saturday, I worked out for 2 hours in the pool...Walking back and forth, kicking, doing crunches, and arm lifts...On Sunday, I hand washed my car...and let me just tell you, that is more than a notion...

I'm on my way, I brought my lunch to work today for the first time in a long time!!! I'm drinking water like a fish, don't give up on me...I'm coming back around, and hopefully this time for good!!!